Betrayal, Anger, Forgiveness

It has been almost 6 months since I last posted, dang! Where have I been? Well, a lot has been going on.  Between job struggles, I have moved into my own place outside of my parents for the first time, aside from my new place, we can talk about the job struggles which have been draining me spiritually and emotionally. The career I thought I was meant for did not turn out and ended up in a disaster, this was from last summer… I was then employed by my former employer once again and was given a promotion into front end management shortly after! This promotion was short lived, I lost my spot due to a grievance to the union. Overall my job performance was spectacular, but the person whom I beat out for the job was upset that I won it over her and she stole my spot by grieving to the union and she won due to a technicality of union contracts. When I lost my position, I lost my full time status as well.

Even though I met all qualifications and she did not, the union gave her my job…This was the straw that broke my back emotionally and spiritually. It is not the fact that I lost my position but how I lost it. The person who stole my position acted like my friend, was nice to me and knew I was getting engaged soon and that I was relying on the position I was in for a steady source of income. Then the person who I thought was my friend stabbed me in the back, just because she could, betrayal is what I felt… a week later management suspended her due to job performance and I still lose my position and full time, go figure…

As I sit here stewing in my anger, my self-pity, I have lost sight of what is important; which is God. I think the situation I am in, in my life might be God teaching me something. Jesus said in John 13:7 You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand. 

I may not understand right now why God is putting me through these trials but in due time I will understand. Maybe God is teaching me to be happy in my current situation? Maybe he is teaching how to forgive, so I do not hold a grudge? Maybe he is refocusing my attention onto him? Or a combination of all above.

It won’t be easy from this point, but at this point I will pray and try my hardest to forgive and to move on and be happy in my current situation and to stop relying on myself in terms of income, but to rely on God to provide the hours and income that I need.

I do know God has placed amazing Managers above me who are willing to work with me, and I need to trust Gods plan and not my own.

On the bright side I am engaged to be married, the wedding is June 1st!

 

 

 

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It is never to late.

You are never to far from the grace of God. Whatever it is that you have done, give it to Jesus and you will never come under condemnation.

It is never to late to start over. Have a blank page and write a new story. Do not carry the past on your shoulders; start over, regrets; get a rid of them. You are never to far from the grace of God. Whatever it is that you have done, give it to Jesus and you will never come under condemnation. Grab yourself a blank page and start over and give it all to Jesus because he gave it all to save you.

Never run away from God, give your heart to him throw up your white flag and surrender to him. Who distributes joy and sets the soul free? Who finds the lost and sets them free? You can find a real love, raise your hands and let Jesus be your savior. It is never to late to start over if you have ran away from grace, it is never to late start over. God will take you in his loving embrace with no condemnation.

Forgiveness 

​We all make mistakes and cross that line. We all mess up and fall and burn bridges. Our hearts all have been broken; and we all have broke hearts. Guilt does a job on everyone’s soul; that guilt though is the holy spirit nudging on your soul to call out for forgiveness. Who are we to call out to forgiveness for? Well..God; we have all wronged God.
Who has? Surely not me you may say, but the word of God says for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We all need forgiveness; were all holding onto the guilt of something terrible we have done. The good news is Jesus hung on a bloody cross for us so that we may be forgiven. Just cry out to Jesus and let go of the guilt. Nothing is sweeter then the day we find forgiveness. No matter how lost you are; your not to far for the grace of God to find you.

You can go and play it like nothing has ever happened but you can bet that when your head hits that pillow at night it’ll be on your mind. You’ll be fighting that guilt and you’ll be fighting that emptiness. Don’t hold onto to it; give that weight to God. Your never to far gone.
John 3:16

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